hebdo.wanderLust-burnout

some days, some days i open up to absolute contingency & eat th bear of nothing but death to look forward to...

some days, some nights i slink back, shrink down- retreat & backslide into barely conscious kiddie fear waking

up only as i walk into th cold gust of it-th fear, th acceptance, th cramped grid of city buildings tottering

above... no quiet coffee chatter on th radio competing w/ live humans impatient for their double latte another

day, another neofolkie songstress hooking into my ghostly desires my bones nothing but brittle, hollow flutes

fail to keep my skin in place or attached- i may believe i am free again after i finish my hour on this

ill-defined job of reaching & reaching out to receding mirrors of subjectivity never quite flesh out into

being... another quirk, another recognisable illusion crumbling for th sake of authentic cutural dreams

reborn...
& you think/that love is only/for th lucky or th strong...
d=(8{>

December 15th 1999

it's a wonderful town!

i fly into this burg, my energy goes up, my libido goes up...

gotta do th errands re.: car rental- it seems to be so much more expensive

to

rent w/in manhattan, meaning i'd need to pack stuff for a few days, take a

subway or bus or train out to bklyn, connecticut or jersey & then drive for

ten to twelve hours to visit david & megan down in virginia...

that's th plan, still...thought i'd get out of town before th wkend,

but...i

may as well relax a bit, commit to allowing mself a week @ th carlton-

there's an opening, a photo exhibit from a canadian artist who does

kitschy-erotic digital manipulations goes up this friday- not sure if in th

lobby or one of th rooms...

what else is new? lovely weather to leave amsterdam, told raul & his

english

fiancee natasha i was bringing th rain w/ me to nyc- ayayay- me & my big

mouth, i forget i have this power- it's been nasty weather here, but prfect

for getting over jetlag in a jiffy- today th clouds seem to be drying out &

i'll try to get an early, lighter lunch @ th local irish pub, mccormack's &

be out running before th five o'clock rush hour begins? ...or after sunset,

'round six...

i'll be shortening my list of those who get th newsletter draft, as i can

upload (thru my friend david sower @ usit.net in virginia) to my developing

webpage, wanderlustmedia.com (which david put up for me!) & allow firends,

family & public @ large read ad libitum, @ their leisure...

see you there!

oh, & i also have an offer from hugo arizmendi to help w/ some graphics!

life goes on & we get better @ it...?

luvluv, dabizzet.j=(8{>

hebdo.wanderLust: new york,new york...

it's a wonderful town!
i fly into this burg, my energy goes up, my libido goes up...
gotta do th errands re.: car rental- it seems to be so much more expensive to
rent w/in manhattan, meaning i'd need to pack stuff for a few days, take a
subway or bus or train out to bklyn, connecticut or jersey & then drive for
ten to twelve hours to visit david & megan down in virginia...
that's th plan, still...thought i'd get out of town before th wkend, but...i
may as well relax a bit, commit to allowing mself a week @ th carlton-
there's an opening, a photo exhibit from a canadian artist who does
kitschy-erotic digital manipulations goes up this friday- not sure if in th
lobby or one of th rooms...
what else is new? lovely weather to leave amsterdam, told raul & his english
fiancee natasha i was bringing th rain w/ me to nyc- ayayay- me & my big
mouth, i forget i have this power- it's been nasty weather here, but prfect
for getting over jetlag in a jiffy- today th clouds seem to be drying out &
i'll try to get an early, lighter lunch @ th local irish pub, mccormack's &
be out running before th five o'clock rush hour begins? ...or after sunset,
'round six...
i'll be shortening my list of those who get th newsletter draft, as i can
upload (thru my friend david sower @ usit.net in virginia) to my developing
webpage, wanderlustmedia.com (which david put up for me!) & allow firends,
family & public @ large read ad libitum, @ their leisure...
see you there!
oh, & i also have an offer from hugo arizmendi to help w/ some graphics!
life goes on & we get better @ it...?
luvluv, dabizzet.j=(8{>

December 12th 1999

what a long/strange trip it's been...

tired of flying solo...

when th road/has bn too lonely/& th night/has bn too long...

like a long/lonely stream/i keep rolling towards a dream...

gotta find me/a place in th sun...

nowhere to run/nowhere to hide...

last night i hit my self-pitying bottom after nearly two weeks of visiting

or

trying to meet or reaching out to th wrong people @ th wrong time...

not th season for attempting to bring good cheer w/ short, unexpected

visits-

alex in hamburg was anxiously insomniac anticipating a big oral economic

theory exam & he wd wake me up w/ a shout whenever i wd start to snore...

i didn't get much sleep on th train to wiesbaden- there was a change to a

rickety suburban trainin frankfurt @ five-thirty in th morning- & kerstin,

economist & planner w/ a mortgage bank, seemd to be under th weather- heavy

emotional weather, it seemed- so after cooking her some lentil soup, i got

on

th night train to paris- where emanuelle was too busy choreographing a show

to get together for a cup of coffee. i got a run in around my old parc de

buttes-chaumont route on th sunday of my arrival. on thursday, before

finally

taking another night train to amsterdam, i struggled w/ th madly shopping

crowds to walk from th 19th, down thru le marais & my first look @ th place

des vosges & th fancier parts of paris, until i found la madeleine, circled

it, & walkd back w/a stop for dinner in le marais- shouldered my backpack &

walkd to th gare du nord...i finally got another run in, th very thursday

of

my arrival in amsterdam, mostly th herrengracht half-circle, turning back @

th amstel, then, not finding th hotel because i cut back to th singel @ th

level of th radhuis, running down th singel to where it meets leidsestraat

&

back again...i want to try to run again today, hope th drizzle stays

light...

w/ no direction/home

like a complete unknown

like a rolling stone

abrazos, dabizzet.j=(8{>

hebdo.wanderLust-'dam, again

> what a long/strange trip it's been...
> tired of flying solo...
> when th road/has bn too lonely/& th night/has bn too long...
> like a long/lonely stream/i keep rolling towards a dream...
> gotta find me/a place in th sun...
> nowhere to run/nowhere to hide...
> last night i hit my self-pitying bottom after nearly two weeks of visiting
> or
> trying to meet or reaching out to th wrong people @ th wrong time...
> not th season for attempting to bring good cheer w/ short, unexpected
> visits-
> alex in hamburg was anxiously insomniac anticipating a big oral economic
> theory exam & he wd wake me up w/ a shout whenever i wd start to snore...
> i didn't get much sleep on th train to wiesbaden- there was a change to a
> rickety suburban trainin frankfurt @ five-thirty in th morning- & kerstin,
> economist & planner w/ a mortgage bank, seemd to be under th weather- heavy
> emotional weather, it seemed- so after cooking her some lentil soup, i got
> on
> th night train to paris- where emanuelle was too busy choreographing a show
> to get together for a cup of coffee. i got a run in around my old parc de
> buttes-chaumont route on th sunday of my arrival. on thursday, before
> finally
> taking another night train to amsterdam, i struggled w/ th madly shopping
> crowds to walk from th 19th, down thru le marais & my first look @ th place
> des vosges & th fancier parts of paris, until i found la madeleine, circled
> it, & walkd back w/a stop for dinner in le marais- shouldered my backpack &
> walkd to th gare du nord...i finally got another run in, th very thursday
> of
> my arrival in amsterdam, mostly th herrengracht half-circle, turning back @
> th amstel, then, not finding th hotel because i cut back to th singel @ th
> level of th radhuis, running down th singel to where it meets leidsestraat
> &
> back again...i want to try to run again today, hope th drizzle stays
> light...
> w/ no direction/home
> like a complete unknown
> like a rolling stone
> abrazos, dabizzet.j=(8{>