hebdo.amStrand/daily accretion

Wednesday th 05, 05.1999 (21h44) maybe this is a crucial, integral, essential part of th process, a good sign

of being on th right path, a positive first or second or third step along th way, but it certainly is

bewildering, confusing & oftentimes frustrating...is it something new? maybe it's merely a personality quirk,

one particular level of conditioning & illusory rationalisation...there doesn't seem to be one focus, one

significant object that draws th attention of my desire- seeming to promise fulfillment where others may

not...it's as if I've lost th faculty of discrimination- all objects that excite my desire promise partial

satisfactions, perishable... possibilities multiply into meaningless infinity...
Thursday th 06, 05.1999 (11h54) as 1983 became th dire year 1984 & my thirtieth birthday approached, th

landscape & weather of my heart took form around me on old silver beach in cape cod...it was colder than usual

that winter, from what everybody said-ponds & cranberry bogs froze because of subzero temperatures for days on

end...but then there was a dramatic, prolonged midwinter thaw, fog showing in thick cones of light from th

old-fashioned road lamps & condensing to drip from th wires looping loosely down between posts...
Sunday th 09, 05.1999 (20h03) what a pain in th ass...restore & reinstall & clean install for mother's day

&&&fquin keyboard...later... (23h20) doglynx...catwolf or

wolfcat...felupus...wolfeline...felis-canis-lupus...cat-wolfdog...coyote/coyotrick...gatepack... bat swooping

down @ me on th run to cibuco tonight...testing & leading me...th converse to gerard manley hopkins' 'morning's

minion', th 'windhover'...dogs along th darkening twilit road...green fireflies back out in force on my

return...I'm daring mself to go just a little further in th dark along th driftwood & seaweed strewn shore

towards th cibuco rivermouth every other run or so...
(wed.th 12th- having a hard time finding time, making time again...making
appointments, meetings, dance & yoga
& ch'i k'ung/qi gong classes...too much in th world & not of it?)